On Communal Wine: If a friend comes over with a bottle of wine, and the occasion is not a large gathering, said bottle should be opened and shared with said friend.
On Silver and Flatware: When taking out flatware for oneself, always take out enough flatware for everyone you expect to be joining you for the meal.
On Baguette Butts: If you purchase the baguette, you have earned the right to rip off the end and eat it on the way home.
On Single-Use Gadgets: While sometimes unavoidable, one should strive to eliminate as many single-use gadgets from their kitchen repertoire as humanly possible. The same goes for having an overage of spatulas and flipping implements. For most things, a simple wooden spoon and a shake of the pan will suffice.
On Brown Liquor: If you have to mask the taste, drink clear liquor.
On Clear Liquor: If you have to mask the taste, drink soda pop.
On Teas and Tisanes: Teas and tisanes of myriad varieties must be consumed in the Fall and Winter months. Loose tea is always preferable to bagged.
On Cheese Division: If you are cutting a triangular piece of cheese, make one cut along the edge, always careful to leave a point, yielding a rectangular slice. If you are cutting into a wheel of cheese, make two cuts from the center to the outside of the wheel, and remove a small triangle of cheese suitable for consumption.
On Charcuterie and Cured Meats: Always serve with cornichons, lest life cease to continue.
On Musical Entertainment Whilst Cooking: Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday, Etta James, Nina Simone and a glass of wine are all acceptable. In fact, they are all highly encouraged.
What are your kitchen rules that you live by?
Sign up for our newsletter to have the best of Food Riot delivered straight to your inbox every two weeks. No spam. We promise.