After reading Danguole’s declaration Love Me, Love My Instagrammed Oatmeal, I started thinking about my own history of Instagramming my food. I don’t snap a shot of lunch every day, I’m not a crazy, but there are serious calories representing themselves on my camera roll, so I actually take my first statement back. I’m a little bit of a crazy. So being a meal-Instragramming-vet, I have some thoughts on how how to Instragram your food for maximum likes. Follow me, Social Media Acolytes, follow me.
Nobody cares about your slice of pizza.. unless it’s a slice of pizza in ITALY! Your sushi lunch is just a sushi lunch unless it’s a sushi lunch in JAPAN, MAGICAL KINGDOM OF RAW FISH AND RICE. Document your trip through food and show us a part of the world we don’t know and you’ll get your likes, dude, oh you’ll get your likes.
This is an Instagram of me drinking tea in ENGLAND, NATCH.
Because so many people’s kitchen skills do not extend past the borders of PB&Js-for-lunch-and-boxed-spaghetti-with-canned-tomato-sauce-for-dinner, if you can cook anything fancier than that, take a picture of it. You’re showing off your meal AND your skill set, Instagram points squared.
(This is me cooking octopus for my husband, I am going to learn how to do karate soon and then I will be the best wife in the world.)
I really don’t care if you eat Greek yogurt or farmers’ market fruit. I’m sorry, I really don’t. I care a little bit more if you’re eating a fried cricket. Or cows’ brains. Or a semi-boiled squid that injects your tongue with its sperm bag. You want those Instagram likes, you eat that scary meal with the courage of an Age-of-Enlightenment-circumnavigator.
This is me eating escargot. I know, I know, go big or go home, I really need to get on that semi-boiled squid. I think the only place you can order it is in Korea or a haunted house in Hell, so, I guess next time I’m in the neighborhood?
This post is so embarrassing, I feel like this is just me revealing what a camera whore I am. Whatever, own it, love it. You should absolutely model with your meal, I do it all the time and I’m a great role model, I give to charity, I’m nice to my parents, and children and dogs really seem to like me.
Here I am eating gelato like a psychopath.
What if you just ate like eleven courses and you have rad photo documentation of it all? Don’t post picture after picture of it! You’ll clog up the feed! People will talk about you behind your back! I know, people are so mean, we absolutely deserve climate change. But if you consolidate your shots with an app like Picframe, you will be the subject of NO ONE’S Instagram bitchery (Instagritchery?) and EVERYONE’s Instagram praise (Instagraise?)!
Here’s a Picframe I put together of the manna from Heaven that was the food I ate in Provence on a recent trip.
Sometimes the difference between a “whatever” food Instagram and a this-is-incredible-and-the-exact-opposite-of-whatever food Instagram is the caption. For example, this is a picture of tapas, unimpressive, tapas were the new sushi and now they’re the old gourmet street food, no one cares about tapas anymore. But the caption/story is rad- these tapas are from a tapas bar in Barcelona where all the tapas are set out on plates and you go in and grab whatever you want and whenever you’re done eating you sidle up to the cashier and she counts how many toothpicks are on your plate and charges you one Euro per toothpick. Obviously that’s WAY too long for an Instagram caption, I’d have to consolidate like a madwoman (something like… ” 1 toothpick= 1 Euro, #Barcelona #tapas #cheapeats #theymustmaketheirmoneyoffthealcohol”) but you get the idea.
So grab a seat in the comments below and tell us what YOU do to make your food-related Instagrams more likable and awesome-able.
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